Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
