I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
