We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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