pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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