he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
