in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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