you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
