Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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