Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize