whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just had sex on a roof
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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