ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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