Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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