I puked a lego.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
