I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
