i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need water and some morals
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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