im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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