all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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