Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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