and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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