He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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