According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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