My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize