I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
