I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
