hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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