Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
