"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
