She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
