I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sober January is a disaster.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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