is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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