i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
