69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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