considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
