epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
