Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
