ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
