I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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