Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
