one two three fourrrrnication!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize