I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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