Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
we should paint friendship bongs
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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