Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
