I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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