Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
