The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
