So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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