Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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