I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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