Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
