you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
