dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
