If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
