I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
