Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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