I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We're too hungover to prance.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
