I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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