last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
