she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize