That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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