think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
