Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
