Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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