after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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