no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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