She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
