Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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