After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
