we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
