Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
