okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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