Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
