Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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